Man, unemployed for seven months. Does anybody have any suggestion?

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Man, aged 40, 230lbs, unemployed for seven months. Being fired or told to leave in all previous jobs, I simply do not have the energy to find another one in the present difficult environment. I have minor mental illness that is why my work performance is not good. I am now reading books in the park, just as the other 「old man」.
My financial condition is not too bad so I can afford to stay unemployed for a while. The next alternative is that I can go to London (but still unemployed) and live on UK social security, but the weather is simply too cold. I hold a UK passport.
I have prayed to the Lord for a while. It seems that he must be very busy!
Does anybody have any suggestion? Or more specific, what should I do in Nov. 03 Although I know God will punish, I sometimes have thought of committing suicide because life seems too hard for me!(having mental illness). Sometimes I want to cry loudly but a man should not cry.
May the Lord bless all of us.



Thank you for your letter. You bravery to share your feeling is much be appreciated and I am deeply impressed by this. It seems to me that you are not satisfied with your current status and simply do not know what to do next.
In fact, it is discouraging when facing such situation, I understand this which it happens to my friends, my relatives, my clients and even me, as well!
Is quit/give up the only way? Is finding a job is the only and ultimate goal of your life? What else in your life?…
You are the kind of person who have tried your best to find out the exit and ways in your life when facing difficulties. From your words, I know you tried to plan different ways to solve it. Failure diminishes your will and motivation and the feeling is not good, did you tell other people eg. family, friend, church brothers and sisters?
What a pity if you don’t sustain until success and choose to give up. In fact, it may be very close to success ; or it may be more pity if you didn’t try your best yet. If you think it is difficult, then you must be a genius! Because you have got so many jobs before!
More importantly, It doesn’t mean you are failed if you cannot find a job, but it really a failure if you do not find it.
You may think you are not valuable if you can’t find a job, you can’t loss weight. No! God still loves you no matter what you are!!! Can unemployment separate you from God’s love? He is always near you, listening to all your prayers, telling you that 「nothing can separate you from the love of God」 (Roman 8:39) Do you believe?
Yes, life is not easy, even sometimes very hard and tough… …
.. … Jesus says 「My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.」
Yes, sometimes we think where is God, may be He is busy, not nearby me!… …
… … He says 」 Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed; for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.」 Joshua 1:9
Satan always want to deceive us by telling lies but we always believe when we are weak. But God’s kind voice is always here to remind you!
It depend upon what you choose; negative (from Satan) mind would lead you to negative action; positive thinking will lead you a positive mind.
You have a choice to choose… attitude decides everything.
My friend tell me when he is during the unemployed period. He take that as a 『precious moments』 ;… precious moments to stay with His family, to fix the matters which he never have time to do (banking, mailing etc)… precious moments to read bible and books, more importantly, to calm down in front of Jesus, listen to Him and talk to Him. Then he reschedule and re-arrange his priority in his life. Hallelujah, he become a new person have a fantastic life when he starts his new job.
About your sick, do you see physician/doctor? Mental illness can be controlled and improved by medicine and medical treatment. So that you can go to the ordinary people and enter their social community. Also, there are some voluntary associations and Christian associations specialized in forming social groups for the recovered mental patients. Do tell me if you wish to know more about that.
How about your family life and church life? They are your supporters when you need. Do drop 「myself」 down and try to have goodtime with them.
Tears are precious present from God, to release our deepest feelings in our mind. The strongest man-Jesus in the world also cry! I feel sorry for those even having no courage to cry, it is the real meaning of weak. Want to cry??? Just cry! in front of Jesus, he understand for he also cries, and cry for you!
Time to stand up now, 『present』 is the present God gives you!
Tom, you can!…
… …」I can’t!!!」 God says 「But I can!」
Never give up, for God doesn’t give up you!
May God’s peace and strength be with you always!

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